NEW YORK, NY — Major League Baseball has unveiled a groundbreaking new initiative, mandating that all professional players undergo rigorous 'Superman Slide' training, effective immediately. The move comes after Toronto Blue Jays star Vladimir Guerrero Jr.'s recent viral slide into home plate, which league executives have identified as the 'missing ingredient' in their quest for relevancy.

“For too long, baseball has relied on quaint notions like 'skill' and 'strategy,'” stated MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, addressing a room of bewildered team owners. “What the data unequivocally shows is that fans, particularly the coveted TikTok demographic, crave mid-game acrobatics and a palpable risk of groin injury. The Superman Slide is our moon landing.”

Training camps, reportedly featuring former Cirque du Soleil performers and stunt coordinators, will focus on perfecting the airborne, face-first dive, emphasizing both dramatic flair and the optimal angle for social media virality. Players will be graded not just on speed, but on 'aesthetics of flight' and 'impact-to-dust cloud ratio.' Those failing to meet the new performance metrics may face reduced playing time or, in extreme cases, mandatory enrollment in a 'dramatic sports entry' remedial program.

“It’s about evolving the game,” explained Dr. Evelyn Thorne, head of the newly formed League-Wide Theatricality Division. “Why just run when you can soar? Why just slide when you can embody a caped crusader briefly defying gravity? We’re not just selling baseball; we’re selling an experience. Preferably one that can be GIF'd.”

Sources close to the league indicate that future rule changes may include mandatory mid-inning interpretive dance-offs and designated 'sparkle zones' around bases for enhanced visual effects.