LOS ANGELES, CA – In a groundbreaking move aimed at correcting generations of perceived cinematic inaccuracies, major Hollywood studios have collectively unveiled 'Holywood,' a new division dedicated exclusively to the authentic portrayal of Catholicism. The initiative promises to move beyond 'vampire priests and singing nuns' to explore the faith's 'rich tapestry of financial dealings and architectural maintenance issues.'

“For too long, we’ve relied on tropes and dramatic license,” stated Bartholomew 'Barty' Goldblatt, newly appointed CEO of Holywood, at a press conference held in a repurposed soundstage resembling a Vatican antechamber. “Our research shows audiences are hungry for stories about the real challenges facing the Church today, like optimizing cathedral gift shop revenue or navigating complex diocesan property disputes. Think 'Succession,' but with more incense.”

Goldblatt confirmed Holywood’s inaugural slate includes a gritty procedural about parish council budgeting, a romantic comedy centered on a celibate priest’s struggle with a malfunctioning coffee machine, and a multi-season drama chronicling the arduous process of canonization, focusing heavily on bureaucratic paperwork. “We’re talking about the nitty-gritty,” Goldblatt added, adjusting his custom-tailored cassock. “The kind of faith that truly resonates: the faith in quarterly earnings reports.”

Early feedback from religious scholars has been mixed, with some questioning whether focusing on administrative minutiae will truly capture the spiritual essence of the faith. However, industry analysts predict a strong opening, particularly among viewers who enjoy C-SPAN and spreadsheet software.