LOS ANGELES, CA — In a bold move to address what executives are calling a 'disturbing trend of new ideas,' major studios have unveiled a groundbreaking strategy: remaking content that has already been remade. The initiative, dubbed 'Reboot Squared,' aims to capitalize on the diminishing attention spans of audiences and the perceived safety of familiar narratives.

“Why take a risk on something fresh when you can double down on a sure thing?” explained studio head Veronica Sterling, pausing only to check her phone for crypto updates. “We’ve seen the success of remakes. Now imagine that, but with even less creative overhead. It’s like a turducken of nostalgia, but instead of poultry, it’s intellectual property.”

The first project under this new directive is reportedly a fresh take on the 2023 'bonkbuster' reboot of a classic 80s soap opera, promising 'even bigger hair and more gratuitous slow-motion entrances.' Sources close to the production indicate the new version will feature a younger cast playing the same characters, who are now inexplicably even wealthier and more prone to dramatic glances.

“Audiences are telling us they want comfort, they want familiarity, and they want to argue on social media about whether the new version is better than the previous new version,” stated market analyst Dr. Quentin Finch. “This strategy perfectly leverages that desire while minimizing the need for, well, writing.”

Industry experts predict a swift adoption of Reboot Squared, with several studios already eyeing a 'gritty, dark' remake of the live-action remake of a beloved animated classic.