SEOUL — In a bold move signaling a new era of proactive marketing, game developer Pearl Abyss has released comprehensive performance specifications for its upcoming title, 'Crimson Desert,' on consoles that have yet to be officially announced or released. The company detailed expected frame rates and resolutions for the PlayStation 5 Pro and various hypothetical Xbox iterations, leaving current-gen console owners to wonder if their machines are already obsolete.

“We believe in future-proofing our player base’s anxieties,” stated Dr. Elara Vance, Head of Pre-Emptive Optimization at Pearl Abyss, in a press release issued from a server farm. “Why wait for hardware to exist before telling people how well our game will run on it? This allows gamers to plan their upgrade cycles years in advance, or at least feel inadequate about their current setup.”

Industry analysts lauded the strategy as a stroke of genius, or possibly madness. “It’s brilliant,” commented market pundit Chip Sterling. “They’re not just selling a game; they’re selling the *idea* of a game running flawlessly on a console you can’t buy. It’s pure aspiration, distilled into a spec sheet.” Sterling noted that this approach could save billions in actual R&D by simply declaring optimal performance on non-existent hardware.

Sources close to Sony and Microsoft reportedly expressed surprise at the announcement, with one executive allegedly asking, “The PS5 Pro is real?”