LOS ANGELES – After a grueling 17-year meta-analysis, scholars at the Institute for Unnecessary Cinematic Diligence have finally pinpointed the exact moment the DC cinematic universe transformed from a collection of films into an “unmanageable, amorphous blob” of content. Their findings, published this week, conclude that the threshold was breached sometime between the release of 2017’s *Justice League* and whatever came out immediately after that.
The landmark study, which involved 42 researchers watching all 40+ DC theatrical and streaming productions on repeat, aimed to provide the definitive, unimpeachable ranking demanded by internet culture. “We started with optimism, a genuine love for the craft,” stated lead researcher Dr. Evelyn Reed, her eyes notably bloodshot in a Zoom interview. “But by the tenth viewing of *Suicide Squad* (2016), we realized we were no longer critics; we were chroniclers of a slow-motion car crash, religiously documenting every dent.”
The research team reported unprecedented levels of “cinematic burnout” and a startling increase in spontaneous muttering of character names like “Starfire” and “Booster Gold.” One junior analyst reportedly quit after being assigned *Blue Beetle* a third time, citing “irreversible damage to my will to live.” The Institute's ethics board is now reviewing protocols after several panelists began arguing with each other over whether *Shazam! Fury of the Gods* was “merely bad” or “an active affront to the concept of moving pictures.”
“The sheer volume is the enemy here,” explained Dr. Reed. “It’s not just the quality, though... *oh god*, the quality. It’s the constant drip-feed, the promise of something better *next time*, the psychological warfare waged by an IP factory that seems to mistake quantity for cultural relevance.” The study noted that the average human attention span is simply not equipped to process a new iteration of Batman's origin story every six years.
The Institute hopes their findings will serve as a stark warning to other major studios, though they admitted the true definitive ranking remains elusive. “We locked in our top three,” Dr. Reed conceded, rubbing her temples, “but after that, it just became a fight over which bland grey-filter spectacle caused the least permanent damage. Frankly, we’re still not sure if *Jonah Hex* was a fever dream or a real movie.”
