BOSTON – In a move that has sent ripples through the professional sports world, the Boston Celtics organization has formally announced its players will, in fact, attempt to play basketball during tonight’s scheduled contest against the Oklahoma City Thunder. The groundbreaking declaration comes amidst growing speculation regarding the team's commitment to the sport.

“We understand that recent performances may have suggested otherwise, but I can assure our fans that the athletes we employ will be making a concerted effort to engage with the game of basketball,” stated Celtics General Manager Brad Stevens in a press conference that lasted precisely 27 seconds. “This includes dribbling, passing, shooting, and, if conditions are favorable, even some defensive maneuvers.”

Sports analysts are calling the announcement a bold, albeit risky, strategy. “It’s certainly a unique approach,” noted Dr. Evelyn Reed, a leading professor of Competitive Apathy at the University of Phoenix Online. “Most teams just show up and hope for the best. To proactively state an intent to ‘try’ — that’s next-level psychological warfare, or perhaps just a very low bar.”

Sources close to the team, who spoke on condition of anonymity because they were afraid of being asked to also try, indicated that the decision was made after extensive internal discussions. “There was a real debate about whether to just mail it in, but ultimately, the coaching staff felt that attempting to win might be a good morale booster,” said one anonymous source, reportedly while shrugging.

Tonight’s game is expected to feature both teams on the court, with the Celtics reportedly aiming to achieve a score higher than their opponents.