WASHINGTON D.C. — After years of languishing in a basement due to what officials repeatedly termed a 'complex design challenge,' a commemorative plaque honoring law enforcement officers who responded to the January 6th Capitol attack has finally been installed. Sources close to the project confirm the 'design problem' was ultimately resolved when a bipartisan committee simply decided to put the plaque up.

“We explored countless options, from self-cleaning alloys to holographic projections, all of which proved prohibitively complicated or, frankly, politically inconvenient,” stated Representative Eleanor Vance (D-NY), co-chair of the ad-hoc Plaque Placement Task Force. “Then, one morning, someone just said, ‘What if we just… screwed it to the wall?’ And honestly, the room went silent. It was a revelation.”

The initial mandate for the plaque, passed in March 2022, stipulated its installation within a year. However, bureaucratic hurdles, aesthetic debates, and an apparent inability to locate a drill led to a multi-year delay, during which the finished plaque reportedly became a popular napping spot for Capitol maintenance staff.

“It’s a testament to American ingenuity,” remarked Senator Marcus Thorne (R-TX), the task force’s other co-chair, during a brief, untelevised unveiling ceremony. “Sometimes the most elegant solution is the simplest: just doing the thing you said you were going to do. We’re hopeful this innovative approach can be replicated across other stalled legislative initiatives.”

Experts suggest this breakthrough could revolutionize congressional productivity, provided lawmakers don't immediately forget how to use a screwdriver.