DENVER, CO – The Denver Broncos organization has preemptively announced that its entire slate of 2026 NFL Draft picks, recently updated following a hypothetical trade for Miami Dolphins wide receiver Jaylen Waddle, is already considered 'mostly wasted.' This bold, forward-thinking strategy aims to manage fan expectations by acknowledging future disappointments years in advance.

“We believe in transparency,” stated General Manager George Paton, speaking from a bunker filled with unopened scouting reports. “Why wait until 2026 to realize we’ve drafted a long snapper in the second round or a promising quarterback who will inexplicably regress after two seasons? We’re just cutting out the middleman.”

The team’s updated draft board, which includes a theoretical third-round pick from the Waddle deal, has reportedly been color-coded to indicate various levels of future futility. “Green means ‘might make the practice squad,’ yellow is ‘will be cut before training camp,’ and red is ‘traded for a conditional seventh-rounder that never conveys,’” explained an anonymous intern who was briefly allowed into the war room.

Experts are calling this a revolutionary approach to NFL management. “Most teams try to hide their inevitable draft busts,” said Dr. Evelyn Finch, a leading sports psychology economist. “The Broncos are embracing it. It’s like telling your date, ‘I’m probably going to ghost you, but let’s get dinner anyway.’ It’s brutally honest, if not entirely effective.”

Fans are reportedly confused but also strangely relieved, noting that at least now they know what to expect three years from now, which is more than they can say for next season.