CHICAGO – In a groundbreaking move that redefines the concept of professional accountability, the Chicago Bears today unveiled their 'Perpetual Second Chance' program, a new organizational philosophy designed to ensure every player, coach, and front office executive receives an unlimited number of opportunities to contribute to the team's long-term, theoretical success.

The announcement comes as the team reportedly gives a talented cornerback 'another chance,' a phrase that sources close to the organization confirm has been in continuous use since the franchise's inception. Under the new program, the concept of a 'first chance' will be retroactively eliminated, allowing all past and future performances to be considered part of an ongoing, indeterminate probationary period.

“We believe in our guys, and more importantly, we believe in the infinite elasticity of the term 'potential,'” stated General Manager Ryan Poles, speaking from a podium adorned with a banner reading 'Tomorrow is Always Another Day.' “Why limit ourselves to just a second chance when we can offer a third, a fourth, or even a 75th? It’s about building a culture of sustained hope, even if that hope occasionally feels like a recurring fever dream.”

Fans, many of whom have been operating under their own 'Perpetual Second Chance' program for the team for decades, expressed cautious optimism. “It’s bold,” said lifelong Bears supporter Brenda Jenkins, wiping away a tear. “It means they’re finally listening to what we’ve been saying: 'Maybe next year' isn't just a wish, it's a strategic pillar.”

The team confirmed that the program also extends to the coaching staff, ensuring that any strategic blunders will simply be reclassified as 'learning opportunities' for the foreseeable future, or until the heat death of the universe, whichever comes first.