LOS ANGELES, CA – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced today a groundbreaking new category for the upcoming Oscars: 'Most Obscure Documentary Short.' The move, lauded by industry insiders as a bold step towards acknowledging the true spirit of independent filmmaking, is designed to honor works that actively resist mainstream attention.

“For too long, we’ve allowed films like 'My Grandfather’s Slightly Damp Sock Drawer' or 'The Existential Dread of a Single Grain of Sand' to languish in the shadow of 'Documentary Short Film,'” explained Academy President Janet Hinkley. “This new category ensures that the most profoundly unmarketable, yet artistically significant, pieces receive the recognition they so richly deserve. We’re talking about films that make 'All the Empty Rooms' look like 'Avengers: Endgame.'”

Nomination criteria will reportedly favor films with fewer than 100 total views across all platforms, a runtime exceeding 45 minutes on a single, unchanging shot, and a subject matter that requires at least three advanced degrees to fully comprehend. “It’s about celebrating the art of not being seen,” added awards strategist Miles Corbin. “The true win is when even the person who filmed it can’t remember what it was about.”

The Academy hopes this new category will further elevate the Oscars' reputation for honoring films that absolutely nobody has watched, or ever will.