Nation’s Pundits Confirm JFK Jr. Would Have Dated Anyone If He Were Still Alive
Experts agree that the late heir to Camelot would have pursued every available celebrity, influencer, and sentient AI given the opportunity.
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#political satire
16 articles
Cornyn Awaits Trump's Blessing to Confirm Own Existence
Senator John Cornyn reportedly unable to perceive his own reflection until former President issues official decree of approval.
Senator Claims Broken Arm Was 'Necessary Deterrent' Against Public Opinion
Lawmaker asserts physical force remains the most effective tool for managing constituent feedback.
Nation’s Political Leaders Confirm Unity Is For Losers
New bipartisan consensus suggests that alienating half the population is the most effective path to electoral success.
Rogue Democrat Senator Accidentally Validates Reality, Throws Party Into Existential Crisis
Sources confirm Senator Mildred Piffle's brief moment of factual alignment has triggered an unprecedented 'Truth Contamination Protocol' among colleagues.
Nation's Top Pundits Demand More 'Game Show' Elements in State of the Union to Boost Engagement
Experts propose 'Spin the Wheel of Policy' and 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' style questioning for future presidential addresses.
Britain's Political Pendulum Swings So Hard It Detaches, Lands In Neighbor's Garden
Experts confirm the nation's traditional two-party system has not merely shattered, but has been physically ejected from the political landscape.
Green Party By-Election Victory Attributed to Voters Mistaking Leaflets for Edible Foraging Guides
Analysts confirm 'eco-populist' surge linked to widespread urban hunger for artisanal nettle soup.
State Legislator Apologizes for 'Inadequate Level of Impairment' During Crucial Budget Hearing
Sources indicate Rep. Fitzgibbon's blood alcohol content was 'barely above functional,' sparking concerns about legislative integrity.
Green Party's Historic By-Election Win Prompts Immediate National Recall of All Non-Biodegradable Politicians
Experts warn that traditional party leaders, now deemed 'environmentally unsustainable,' face imminent composting.
Clinton Deposition Reveals Shocking Lack of New Information, Committee Members Stunned By Repetition
Sources close to the seven-hour grilling confirm the former Secretary of State's answers contained an unprecedented 97.4% overlap with previous statements.
GOP Strategists Discover Texas Senate Race Could Be Won By Actual Voters, Panic Ensues
Alarm bells ring across the party as internal models suggest democratic participation might influence election outcomes.
Democrats Unveil Revolutionary 'Simultaneous Counter-Response' Strategy, Confuse Nation
Party officials hail innovative approach to messaging, admit it may require 17 different cable channels to fully grasp.
Nation's Democrats Officially Declared 'Crazy' Following Exhaustive Presidential Address
New Executive Order expected to mandate daily 'sanity checks' for all registered members of the opposing party.
GOP Rep. Cammack's 'Strategic Proximity' to Democrats Sparks Bipartisan Panic Over Potential for Accidental Agreement
Sources confirm House security protocols now include 'ideological buffer zones' to prevent spontaneous legislative harmony.
NPR Fact-Checkers Hospitalized After SOTU Address Reveals New, Previously Undetectable Tier of Reality
Journalists reportedly suffered 'cognitive dissonance overload' after attempting to cross-reference presidential claims with known laws of physics.
