IRS Confirms Tax Breaks Work Exactly As Intended For People Who Claim Them
Agency spokesperson clarifies that the primary function of a tax break is, in fact, to reduce one's tax burden.
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10 articles
Senator Claims Broken Arm Was 'Necessary Deterrent' Against Public Opinion
Lawmaker asserts physical force remains the most effective tool for managing constituent feedback.
Nation Shocked To Learn Politicians’ Promises Are Often Just Words
A groundbreaking new study confirms that electoral pledges frequently dissolve into thin air upon assuming office.
Presidential Legal Team Confirms Executive Orders Now Legally Binding Because President Said So
Sources close to the administration indicate that the mere utterance of a command by the Commander-in-Chief now constitutes irrefutable legal precedent.
Minnesota Democrats Announce New 'Political Victory Theater' Initiative
State officials confirm strategy of allowing opponents to 'win' minor battles to avoid actual policy changes.
Pentagon Replaces Entire Human Workforce With Single OpenAI Chatbot After Expedited Procurement Process
Defense Department hails 'unprecedented efficiency' as new AI assistant, 'General Algorithm,' assumes all strategic and coffee-making duties.
Government Unveils 'Immigrant-Themed Escape Room' to Boost Public Engagement with Border Policy
New interactive experience promises to 'demystify' complex immigration issues through high-stakes, timed challenges.
FBI Rebrands as 'Loyalty Enforcement Bureau,' Streamlines Operations by Firing All Employees Who Understand Laws
New directive aims for 'unwavering ideological purity' and 'maximal operational efficiency' by eliminating 'legalistic distractions.'
Nation's Businesses Told To Expect Tariff Refunds 'Sometime After The Heat Death Of The Universe'
Administration clarifies that 'imminent' payment refers to a geological, not fiscal, timescale.
DOJ Successfully Prevents Public From Experiencing Full Existential Dread, Cites 'Preemptive Mental Health Initiative'
Officials confirm the strategic withholding of Epstein-related files was a 'proactive measure to preserve societal sanity' ahead of tonight's State of the Union.
