WeirdMinnesota Weather Service Elevates Annual 'Everything Is Fine' Advisory to 'This Is Fine' for Summer
This Advisory, Previously Reserved for Minor Inconveniences, Now Implicitly Includes a Shrug Emoji for Impending Apocalyptic Thunderstorms.
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WeirdThis Advisory, Previously Reserved for Minor Inconveniences, Now Implicitly Includes a Shrug Emoji for Impending Apocalyptic Thunderstorms.
WeirdOfficials Urge Public to Brace for Unprecedented Atmospheric Conditions That Are Exactly Like Conditions From Last Week.
ScienceExperts Advise Citizens to Brace for "Dynamic Atmospheric Conditions" as a Pleasant Saturday Gives Way to a Significantly Less Pleasant Sunday.
FinanceExperts Advise Stockpiling Sunscreen, Umbrellas, and the Grim Resolve Needed to Face Ambient Air.
CorporateOfficials Urge Immediate Shelter-in-Place Protocols for What Meteorologists Are Calling 'the Weekend's Anticipated Scattered Dampness Event.'
TrendsOfficials Urge Residents to Reassess Wardrobe Strategies and Social Engagements Following Updated Temperature Projections.
ScienceEmergency Services Have Issued Unprecedented Advisories, Urging Residents to Prepare for Friday's Incoming Meteorological Event.
PoliticsState Agencies Activated Preventative Measures for Perfectly Average 68-Degree Day with Light Breezes.

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