The News, Remastered

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#toronto raptors

Aggregated satirical news and humor about the Toronto Raptors. Find parody articles and funny takes on the NBA team's stories

NBA Launches 'Efficiency' Probe Against Cavs
The League Expressed Concerns That Cleveland's Near-Flawless Execution Undermined the Competitive Spirit of the Eastern Conference First Round.
Raptors Secure Coveted ‘underdog’ Status for Upcoming Playoff Exit
Team Management Confirms Strategic Pivot to Narrative Dominance Over On-Court Performance.
Celtics Stars Fulfill Multi-Million-Dollar Job Requirements
An Independent Performance Audit Has Confirmed Jaylen Brown and Jayson Tatum Delivered on Their Core Contractual Obligations during the Team's Recent Victory over the Toronto Raptors.

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