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SportsSources Confirm the Unprecedented Exertion Required to Briefly Occupy Public School Grounds Fully Warrants a Multi-Billion Dollar Municipal Handout.
CultureThe Annual Summer Tradition Promises Zero Direct Cost, Ensuring Residents Receive the Full Bill Through Property Assessments and Diverted Public Works Funds.
PoliticsIt Turns Out the "Billionaire's Private Project" Was Always Just Another Line Item for the American Public.
CorporateExecutives Lauded the Bold Initiative, Citing Its Crucial Role in Ensuring "National Stability" Through Maximized Corporate Profits.
ScienceArtemis II Crew Successfully Wastes Taxpayer Money Proving the Moon Is Still Exactly where We Left It.
