#roger goodell
Satirical news about NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Aggregates funny articles, jokes, and parodies on his role, decisions, and public life
NFL Unveils New 'Player Asset Depreciation' Algorithms After A.j. Brown Concerns
Teams Say Cutting Injured Players Is Just 'Smart Portfolio Management' for Human Capital.
NFL Unveils 2026-27 "Engagement Forecasts," Boasts AI Has Reduced Spontaneous Play to a Manageable 7%
League Assures Investors That Two-Year Advance Projections Guarantee Optimal Ad Impression Delivery, with Organic Human Drama Now Merely an Input Variable.
NFL Pioneers 'Next-Gen Fan Engagement' by Fragmenting Games Across 14 Streaming Services
League Executives Tout "Unprecedented Choice" as Millions of Households Frantically Search for the Right App Before Kickoff.
NFL promises 'unpredictable' new era with streamlined replacement official onboarding
The league asserts the proactive measure will guarantee "enhanced fan engagement" through a broadened interpretation of the rulebook.
NFL recruits new refs, promises identical level of officiating inconsistency
The league announced a new talent pipeline for officials, guaranteeing no discernible dip in controversial calls or fan outrage.
NFL Declares 2026 Draft Season Officially Open, 700 Days Early
League Commissioner Confirms Mandatory Fan Engagement Period Now Extends through Next Two Full Calendar Years.
NFL Launches Professional Flag Football League to Monetize Increasingly Finite Human Attention
League Commissioner Roger Goodell Confirmed the New Venture Targets the Last Remaining Slivers of Un-Capitalized Leisure Time.
