#professional athletes
Satirical news about professional athletes. Humorous articles covering sports careers, contracts, and celebrity life
Cardinals Shocked Player Won't Volunteer Work Without New Contract
The Team Expressed Profound Confusion After Veteran Quarterback Jacoby Brissett Skipped "Optional" Workouts, Apparently Expecting Remuneration for His Time.
Analysts Confirm 80% of All Pro Athletes Logically Available in Hypothetical Trades
A Groundbreaking New Study Reveals the Vast Majority of Professional Athletes Are Now Primarily Assets for Endless Speculative Content.
Entrepreneur Proves All You Need Is Good Instagram and Rich Clients
A Former Finance Worker Parlayed Personal Tailoring Selfies into a Multi-Million-Dollar Empire Dressing Professional Athletes.
I Am the NBA Shot Clock and I'm Sick of Your Last-Second Prayers
For Decades, I've Watched the Greatest Athletes on Earth. and You Know What? Most of Them Are Terrible under Pressure.
Suns Players Reportedly Experiencing 'Acute Inconvenience Anxiety' over Playoff Seed Uncertainty
The Psychological Toll of Potential Suboptimal Travel and Revenue Generation for Highly Compensated Athletes Has Been Officially Recognized.
