The News, Remastered

Hambry

#new york yankees

New York Yankees satirical news. Aggregated articles offering humorous takes and parodies on the iconic baseball team

Bellinger's Two Homers Deemed Sufficient Output for $16m Annual Wage
Yankees Outfielder Officially Clears Performance Metrics, Averting a Critical 'Return on Player Investment' Review.
Cole's Rehab Now Includes 73 'Optimization Phases'
Yankees Ace Gerrit Cole's Return Hinges on Navigating an Expanded, Algorithm-Driven Protocol Ensuring Maximum "Player Value Durability."
Analysts Declare Yankees' Season over before First Pitch
New Proprietary Fan-Sentiment Algorithms Reveal Team's Exact Trajectory before Players Even Report to Spring Training.

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