The News, Remastered

Hambry

#mixed martial arts

Satirical news articles on mixed martial arts. Aggregates humorous takes on MMA fighters, events, and the culture of combat sports. Comedy and parody

New Fight Contracts Mandate 'Utter Destruction' Pre-Bout Verbal Theatrics
The Agreement Ensures Top Athletes Will Unleash a Barrage of Hyperbolic Threats and Thinly Veiled Insults before Every Sanctioned Event.
UFC Heavyweight Clash Hailed as 'Surprisingly Non-Awful'
A Detailed Post-Fight Analysis Confirms the Much-Anticipated Bout Successfully Avoided Being Completely Unwatchable.
UFC Scrambling to Repurpose $80 Million 'Adesanya Era' Marketing Assets
The Promotion Is Reportedly Undergoing an Unprecedented 72-Hour Content Pivot After the Former Champion's Unexpected Loss.
UFC’s ‘Almost-Champion’ Arman Tsarukyan Battles for Exposure at University Rec Center
The Highly-Ranked Lightweight Will Face Georgio Poullas in What Promoters Are Calling an "Investment Opportunity" for His Personal Brand.

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