The News, Remastered

Hambry

#miami marlins

Aggregates satirical news & humorous articles about the Miami Marlins. Funny takes on MLB team games, trades, players, and season events

MLB Forms Emergency Task Force Over Jazz Chisholm Jr.'s Alleged Sweet Tooth
League Officials Fear Athlete's Candy Habit Could Destabilize Player Performance Metrics, Fan Engagement, and Global Snack Markets.
Nation's Sports Media Short-Circuits After Game Finishes without Any 'Narrative' Developing
Analysts Reportedly Stared Blankly at Screens for 30 Minutes, Unsure how to Produce Content from Simple, Decisive Victory.

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