The News, Remastered

Hambry

#medical innovation

Satirical news on medical innovation. Features articles lampooning health tech, pharma breakthroughs, and the future of medicine.

New Cancer Therapy's ‘precision Targeting’ Tech Designed to Guarantee Shareholder ROI
The Breakthrough Ensures Therapeutic Benefits Are Meticulously Delivered to Patients Whose Financial Portfolios Can Sustain Recurring 7-Figure Interventions.
FDA Nears Approval for Groundbreaking 'No *additional* Pain' Surgical Option
The Agency Hailed the New Varicose Vein Technology as a Paradigm Shift, Potentially Allowing Patients to Undergo Procedures Without the Historical Expectation of Gratuitous Agony.
Mount Sinai Pioneers Tech Confirming Eye Fluid Can, and Does, Exit the Eye
The Revolutionary New System Provides Never-before-Seen Data on Exactly where All that Eyeball Juice Is Going.

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