#extreme heat
Features satirical news articles about extreme heat, record temperatures, and climate change. Humorous takes on global warming.

Geologists Stunned to Find Hotter Things Erupt More Aggressively
Decades of Grant Money Confirms What Every Sentient Being Already Suspected About Extreme Heat and Pressure.

FIFA Calls 2026 World Cup Heat 'Innovative New Competitive Element'
Officials Insist the Scorching Conditions Will Separate Truly Elite Athletes From Those Merely Capable of Basic Respiration.

FIFA Unveils $2 Billion Plan to Make World Cup 'Tolerably Unpleasant' for Players
Organizers Insist the Unprecedented Budget for Advanced Cooling Systems and Mandatory Hydration Breaks Will Not Detract From the Sport's Integrity or the Joy of Watching Athletes Struggle in a Heat Dome.

City Unveils "Thermal Adaptation Initiative" as Heat Dome Bakes Region
Officials Laud New Public-Private Partnerships Offering Premium "Cool-down Zones" and Sponsored Hydration Solutions amid Record-Shattering Temperatures.

Phoenix Redefines 'Habitable' as 120°F Becomes the New Normal.
A Newly Formed Municipal Task Force Reassures Residents that Perpetual Oven-Like Conditions Are Simply "Part of the New Normal."

Extreme Heat Rebranded as 'Summer Season 2.0: the Dry Spell'
A Leading Marketing Firm Has Advised Meteorologists to Adopt New Terminology for the Escalating Climate Crisis, Framing It as an Exciting Annual Event.

10 Indisputable Signs Phoenix Weather Is "Cooling Down"
Brace Yourself, Desert Dwellers, for an Epoch of Mild Temperatures that Would Still Constitute a Global Heatwave Anywhere Else.

