The News, Remastered

Hambry

#draftkings

Satirical news and humor on DraftKings. Aggregates articles, parodies, and fake reports about the popular sports betting company

Draftkings Offers $100 to Help Americans Find Their Inner Degenerate
The Sports Betting Giant’s New "Discovery Program" Promises Instant Access to the Exhilarating World of Mounting Debt.
Leading Economists Now Recommend DraftKings for Core Financial Planning Needs.
Experts Tout the Immediate, Zero-Risk Returns Available by Leveraging Conditional Bonus Wagers.
DraftKings $200 Bonus Bets Declared Essential Civic Duty
The Popular Sports Betting Promotion, Requiring Only a $5 Initial Investment, Has Been Officially Classified as a Foundational Element of a Functioning Society.
Multi-Million Dollar DFS Expert Credits ‘Lucky Socks’ for Predictive Modeling Breakthroughs.
Renowned Daily Fantasy Sports Strategist Mike McClure Attributes over $2 Million in Winnings to an Unwashed Pair of Athletic Socks.

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