The News, Remastered

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#dr evelyn thorne

Satirical news articles about Dr. Evelyn Thorne. Aggregating humorous reports, parodies, and comedic takes on the fictional persona.

Climate Scientists Declare Maine's Weather Has Reverted to 'Eternally Moderate Disappointment'.
After Weeks of Uncharacteristic Warmth, Experts Confirm the Pine Tree State Has Settled Back Into Its Default, Soul-Crushing Meteorological Neutrality.
Analysts Declare 'Wearable Child Habitat' Essential for Cognitive Development
The New Albert Austin "SnuggleSaurus" Line Is Being Praised for Optimizing Child Passivity while Minimizing Parental Effort.
Minnesotans Struggle to Process Non-Catastrophic Weather
Experts Advise against Celebrating Prematurely, Citing Historical Patterns of Abrupt Meteorological Betrayal.

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