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CorporateThe Department of Defense Redefined “engagement” to Include Any Service Member Who Accidentally Hovered Over an Ai-Powered Pop-Up for Three Seconds.
PoliticsOfficials Lauded the Program as a Landmark Achievement in Bureaucratic Inefficiency and the Pursuit of Cutting-Edge Technology at Any Cost.
FinanceThe Unprecedented Defense Spending Aims to Eliminate the Need for Costly and Inconvenient Human Rescue Operations by Making All Future Personnel Self-Sufficiently Extractable.
TechNew Metric Designed to Measure Commander-in-Chief's Personal Fulfillment from Military Operations, Replacing Outdated 'Strategic Objectives' and 'Civilian Casualties' Metrics.
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