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Ucla's 7x Battery Secured by Phone Giant for 0.5% Annual Upgrade
Consumers Thrilled to Know Their Next Device Might Last Slightly Longer After Three More Generations of Planned Obsolescence.
Sep 6, 2026
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Quantumscape's Breakthrough Battery Still Imaginary, Lands Honda Deal Anyway
The Automotive Giants Confirmed the Future Existence of a Potential Future Product, Sparking Immediate Shareholder Jubilation for Current Non-Existent Vehicles.
Jun 18, 2026
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MG's 'SolidCore' Battery Promises to Power Cars until the Next Battery Type Is Invented
The Automotive Giant Assures Customers This Latest Innovation Will Definitively Bridge the Gap between Yesterday’s Outdated Technology and Tomorrow’s Slightly Less Outdated Technology.
Apr 2, 2026