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The News, Remastered

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#baseball rules

Satirical news articles covering baseball rules. Explore humorous takes on the game's regulations, oddities, and often bewildering complexities.

I Am the Designated Hitter Rule and Frankly, My Feelings Are Hurt
From Dusty Diamonds to Gleaming Stadiums, I've Been a Controversial Constant, and Frankly, I'm Tired of the Debate.
I Am the Designated Hitter Rule and My Life Is a Constant Existential Crisis
You Think *You're* under Pressure? Try Being the Singular Embodiment of Baseball's Most Divisive Philosophical Debate, Day in and Day Out.
MLB to Formalize 'Streak-Off' as Primary Game Determinant
As Competing Streaks Prepare for Collision, League Acknowledges Human Element Increasingly Peripheral to Sporting Outcomes.
MLB to Formalize 'Situational Foot-Contact' After Machado Incident
The League Aims to Standardize the Spontaneous Use of Lower Extremities to Advance Gameplay.
MLB Introduces New 'Gesture Integrity' Protocol After Manager Ejected for Slow Hat Tap
The League Is Cracking down on What It Deems 'Sub-Optimal Challenge Activation Gestures' to Maintain the Sanctity of the Game's Increasingly Complex Rulebook.

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