PALM BEACH, FL – Donald Trump today announced a sweeping new artificial intelligence initiative aimed at revitalizing America's digital infrastructure and projecting soft power globally, sources close to the former president confirmed. The plan, reportedly drafted on a cocktail napkin during a golf cart ride, includes a "Modern Peace Corps" composed entirely of AI bots designed to spread American values and optimize local economies worldwide.
“These aren’t your grandfather’s peace corps; these are *smart* peace corps,” Trump stated in a video message, reportedly filmed in front of a green screen displaying a futuristic cityscape. “They’re going to build the best, fastest internet, fix all the utility bills, and frankly, they’ll be much better at diplomacy than some of the people we have now. Nobody knows AI better than me, believe me.”
The ambitious proposal also includes a promise to use AI to drastically reduce data center costs, though specifics on how artificial intelligence would achieve this remain elusive. “It’s very simple, really. We just tell the AI to make it cheaper, and it does,” explained a spokesperson for the Trump campaign, who wished to remain anonymous to avoid being quoted directly.
Critics immediately questioned the feasibility and funding for such a broad initiative. “It sounds less like a policy proposal and more like a fever dream after watching too many sci-fi movies,” commented Dr. Evelyn Reed, a leading AI ethics researcher at the Institute for Digital Absurdity. “The idea of AI bots performing diplomacy without any human oversight is, frankly, terrifying.”
Meanwhile, military strategists are reportedly bracing for a potential "AI showdown" as other nations scramble to interpret what exactly a robot peace corps means for global power dynamics. The former president concluded his announcement by suggesting the AI could also be used to identify and prosecute anyone who ever said anything mean about him online.
