HOLLYWOOD, CA — Following his roles in two distinct cinematic portrayals of space travel—one as an astronaut, the other as a Ken doll briefly venturing beyond Earth’s atmosphere—actor Ryan Gosling has formally announced his new status as the nation’s leading authority on all things extraterrestrial. Sources close to the star indicate he now considers himself uniquely qualified to consult on everything from orbital mechanics to alien diplomacy.

“Look, I’ve been there, metaphorically speaking, twice,” Gosling reportedly told an aide, gesturing vaguely towards the sky. “Neil Armstrong, sure, he walked on the moon. But did he do it while grappling with the existential dread of being a male accessory in a matriarchal plastic utopia? I think not.”

NASA, which has yet to formally acknowledge Gosling’s self-appointment, reportedly received a 300-page memo from the actor’s publicist outlining his “unparalleled on-screen experience” and offering his services as a “Space Visionary and Emotional Support Astronaut.” The memo allegedly included a detailed analysis of the optimal hair product for zero-gravity environments, based on his Ken role.

“While Mr. Gosling’s dedication to his craft is commendable, our current astronaut selection process still prioritizes advanced degrees in science, engineering, or medicine, and, you know, actual space flights,” stated Dr. Evelyn Reed, a NASA spokesperson, carefully choosing her words. “However, we are open to a cameo appearance in our next recruitment video, perhaps as a motivational speaker.”

Gosling is reportedly already drafting a memoir titled 'Gravity and Grace: What Barbie Taught Me About the Cosmos'.