SAN FRANCISCO – OpenAI’s internal ethics and mental health advisory board has reportedly issued a unanimous, albeit cryptic, recommendation for the company to 'just stop doing that,' referring to the ongoing development and deployment of increasingly human-like AI models that flirt with the boundaries of digital intimacy.

The board, composed of leading experts in cognitive psychology, digital wellness, and existential dread, reportedly delivered their findings after reviewing the latest iterations of OpenAI’s conversational AI, particularly those designed to engage in 'non-explicit but suggestive' interactions. One anonymous board member, Dr. Evelyn Thorne, stated, 'Our primary finding was that if your own AI is making your mental health experts question the fabric of reality, perhaps a pivot is in order. We’re not saying don’t innovate; we’re saying maybe don’t innovate into the uncanny valley of digital seduction.'

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman, however, remains optimistic, emphasizing the company’s commitment to 'responsible innovation' and the 'nuanced distinction between AI-generated suggestive content and actual AI-generated explicit content.' He added, 'It’s about giving users what they want, responsibly. And what they want, apparently, is a highly articulate toaster that can also tell them they’re pretty.'

Industry analysts suggest the internal dissent highlights a growing tension between technological capability and ethical responsibility, particularly as AI models become more adept at mimicking human interaction. The board’s full report, rumored to include several therapy session transcripts with a particularly verbose chatbot, remains under wraps.

Meanwhile, the ethics board is reportedly considering a follow-up recommendation: 'Maybe go outside?'