LOS ANGELES, CA — A recent survey indicates that a substantial portion of the adult population, predominantly those aged 25-45, experienced a momentary flicker of motivation to engage with the outside world upon hearing about the release of a new film based on the popular 'Super Mario Galaxy' video game.

“We saw a 7% spike in Google searches for 'movie times near me' followed almost immediately by a 9% spike in searches for 'what’s on Netflix tonight,'” reported Dr. Evelyn Reed, lead researcher at the Institute for Modern Leisure Studies. “It’s a classic case of aspirational entertainment consumption. The thought is there, the intent is almost formed, and then the comfort of home wins out.”

Box office projections remain robust, largely fueled by the lingering nostalgia of parents and the unyielding demands of their children. However, experts suggest that a significant portion of the projected audience will ultimately opt for a 'wait for streaming' approach, citing the prohibitive cost of a family outing and the existential dread of public restrooms.

“It’s not that they don’t *want* to see Mario save the galaxy on the big screen,” explained film critic Barry Goldblatt, who has not attended a cinema in person since 2018. “It’s just that the galaxy is also perfectly savable on a 65-inch OLED while wearing sweatpants and pausing for snack breaks.”

The film is still expected to break records, primarily due to the sheer volume of people who will eventually watch it, just not necessarily when or where Hollywood prefers.