LOS ANGELES, CA – In a move reflecting evolving cinematic tastes, major Hollywood studios have collectively announced that all future on-screen heists will be designated as 'impossible' from the outset. The decision comes after decades of audiences correctly predicting that, despite initial claims, every cinematic heist would, in fact, be entirely possible and ultimately successful.

“Frankly, viewers are too smart now,” stated veteran studio executive Brenda Carmichael, speaking from her yacht, 'The Plot Twist.' “We used to get away with 'highly improbable' or 'extremely challenging,' but with the internet, everyone knows how to disable laser grids with a mirror and a piece of gum. There’s no surprise left. Calling it 'impossible' upfront saves us all a lot of time.”

The new directive is already impacting production, with Guy Ritchie’s upcoming film, 'In the Grey,' starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Henry Cavill, and Eiza Gonzalez, being among the first to fully embrace the 'impossible' designation. Sources close to the production confirm the film’s central caper involves stealing a priceless artifact from a vault located inside a black hole, guarded by sentient quantum foam, with only a spork and a vague sense of British charm.

“It’s a bold new era for crime cinema,” remarked film critic Dr. Evelyn Reed. “We’ve moved beyond 'Ocean’s Eleven' to 'Ocean’s Infinity Minus One.' The only remaining challenge for screenwriters is how to make an impossible heist feel even more impossible than the last impossible heist.”

Industry analysts predict the next logical step will be films where the heist is not only impossible but also entirely unnecessary, or perhaps one where the protagonists simply forget what they were trying to steal mid-operation.