ATLANTA, GA – Students at the Georgia Institute of Technology have successfully constructed a state-of-the-art lunar simulation laboratory, complete with regolith, craters, and an atmosphere of crushing existential dread. However, the groundbreaking facility’s primary function—testing robots for future moon missions—has been temporarily suspended due to what researchers are calling 'critically slow' internet speeds.

“We designed this lab to replicate the harsh, unforgiving environment of the moon,” explained lead student engineer, Chad 'Rocket' Johnson, gesturing towards a robot stuck in a dust pile. “What we didn’t anticipate was replicating the harsh, unforgiving environment of every coffee shop in America during peak hours.”

According to an internal memo, the Wi-Fi signal within the 'Lunarscape Robotics Testbed' consistently drops below 5 Mbps, rendering remote robot control “effectively impossible” and making it “really hard to stream Netflix during late-night shifts.” Dr. Evelyn Reed, head of the university’s Department of Extraterrestrial Infrastructure, expressed frustration.

“It’s a classic case of aiming for the stars but tripping over the router,” Dr. Reed stated. “We can simulate cosmic radiation and micro-gravity, but we can’t get a stable connection. It makes you wonder if we’re ready for deep space or just really good at procrastinating.”

University officials are exploring solutions, including a potential partnership with a major telecommunications provider, though sources close to the project suggest the moon itself might be a more reliable hotspot.