WASHINGTON D.C. — The Department of Justice announced a landmark settlement with Live Nation Entertainment today, mandating the company hire an additional customer service representative to address consumer complaints. The move, lauded by Attorney General Merrick Garland as a 'robust and forward-thinking solution,' aims to inject much-needed competition into the live events ticketing market by slightly reducing hold times.

Sources close to the negotiations indicated that the DOJ initially pushed for two new representatives but compromised after Live Nation threatened to raise service fees by 1500%. 'This isn't just about one more person answering calls,' stated DOJ spokesperson Brenda Carmichael. 'It's about sending a clear message that the American consumer deserves to be put on hold by at least two people, eventually.'

Senator Amy Klobuchar (D-MN), a vocal critic of Live Nation's market dominance, expressed cautious optimism. 'While I appreciate the DOJ's commitment to ensuring a second voice can eventually tell you your refund request has been denied, I believe we could have pushed for a third,' she remarked. Industry analysts predict the new hire will primarily be responsible for explaining why tickets cost $150 but only $12 goes to the artist.

Live Nation CEO Michael Rapino was unavailable for comment, reportedly busy calculating how many additional 'convenience fees' would be required to offset the new employee's salary.