Brussels, Belgium — The Belgian government has officially claimed ownership of a staggering $10 million in gold coins and bars unearthed by a sewer construction crew beneath a former brewery site in Brussels. A spokesperson for the Ministry of Public Works confirmed today that the valuable discovery, initially mistaken by the laborers for a potential life-altering windfall, was always considered an integral part of the nation's subsurface assets. This legal classification, they explained, ensures the find automatically belongs to the state, effectively nullifying any personal claim by the workers who merely *uncovered* it.
"These valuable metals, while previously uncatalogued, were always understood to be an inherent component of Belgium's subterranean geological and historical patrimony," explained Dr. Elara Vandenberg, head of the newly formed Department of Subterranean Asset Reclamation. "To suggest they 'belong' to the individuals who merely *accessed* them through a contractual obligation to dig would be to fundamentally misunderstand the very definition of public domain and the established protocols for sub-surface resource extraction. Our diligent workers are precisely compensated for their labor, not for their incidental proximity to unappraised state holdings, which could, quite frankly, be anything from Roman artifacts to ancient sewer blockages." She added that the gold would be "responsibly reintegrated" into the national treasury, likely funding future infrastructure projects, possibly even more sewers.
Meanwhile, the sewer crew, identified only as "Team Alpha-7" to protect their privacy from any further disappointment, expressed a mixture of bewilderment and forced optimism. "We thought, you know, maybe a bonus? Enough for a house? A nice dinner that wasn't from the work canteen?" muttered Jan, a veteran pipefitter, wiping grease from his brow with a grimy rag. "Instead, we got a personalized memo about 'exemplary adherence to excavation protocols' and an extra biscuit in our daily lunch packets. It's... something." The Ministry further confirmed that Team Alpha-7 would collectively receive a commemorative certificate, and their names would be added to a bronze plaque at the municipal waste treatment plant, recognizing their "invaluable contribution to national resource management without personal pecuniary incentive."
The gold, once destined for a vault, will now flow directly into the same public coffers that pay the workers just enough to keep digging, ensuring that every shovel full of earth reinforces the same old foundations of wealth distribution.
