I was just considering the exquisite, unchanging elegance of a properly brewed Earl Grey – a testament to a perfection achieved long ago – when my assistant, bless his enthusiastic heart, brought news of Infocomm 26. One might have thought, given the breathless pronouncements, that a cure for common sense had finally been discovered.
Apparently, this year promises 'unprecedented advancements' and 'paradigm-shifting innovations.' One does try to maintain an open mind, of course, but after observing these industry spectacles for decades, one develops a rather finely tuned skepticism. Last year, if memory serves, we were promised the moon, and received, quite literally, a slightly shinier crescent wrench for mounting a projector that was, inexplicably, a millimeter wider than its predecessor.
The current whisper from the 'seasoned professionals' – a term I find endlessly amusing when applied to those who spend their lives debating cable gauge – is that we are to brace ourselves for 'slightly thicker HDMI.' One can only imagine the sheer audacity of such an engineering feat. Perhaps it will come in a new shade of black this time, truly revolutionizing our entertainment centers by occupying an extra cubic millimeter of air.
And then, of course, there are the inevitable 'proprietary charging standards' and the accompanying 'expensive, immediately obsolete dongles.' One must admire the sheer industriousness of a sector that invents problems purely for the satisfaction of selling us the temporary solutions. It's a business model built entirely on planned obsolescence and the enduring human desire to believe that this time, this time, it will truly be different.
The entire affair reminds one of a particularly vigorous game of musical chairs, where the music never truly stops, but the chairs simply get a fresh coat of paint and a slightly less comfortable cushion. One wonders what true 'advancement' would even look like in this sphere. Perhaps a cable that finally untangles itself, or a remote control that doesn't demand fresh batteries with the regularity of a clockwork automaton. But alas, we are too busy redefining the wheel, only to find it's slightly more oblong than before.
One waits with bated breath for the truly unprecedented revelation that some things, in fact, work perfectly well as they are.
