LOS ANGELES — In a bold move aimed at silencing critics and streamlining the awards process, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences today announced the creation of a brand-new Oscar category: 'Best Performance By An Actor Who Already Has Three Oscars.' The groundbreaking addition, set to debut at next year's ceremony, is hailed by Academy leadership as a direct response to calls for greater diversity and inclusion.

“We heard the feedback loud and clear,” stated Academy President Janet Haddington in a press conference held exclusively for reporters wearing tuxedos. “People want to see more recognition for a wider range of talent. And what’s more diverse than celebrating the continued excellence of individuals whose excellence we’ve already celebrated, multiple times over?”

The new category is designed to ensure that established, highly decorated actors are not overlooked in an increasingly crowded field. “It’s about making sure our perennial favorites don’t feel left out,” explained veteran Academy voter, Arthur P. Sterling, from his Beverly Hills estate. “Sometimes, after you’ve won two or three, the thrill just isn’t there for the fourth. We want to bring that spark back.”

Critics of the move, primarily those who believe diversity should involve new faces or underrepresented groups, have been largely ignored. “Frankly, we find their suggestions a bit... niche,” Haddington added, adjusting her diamond-encrusted lapel pin. “Our focus is on proven winners. It’s a meritocracy, after all.”

Sources close to the Academy suggest that preliminary nominees for the inaugural award already include Meryl Streep, Daniel Day-Lewis, and Tom Hanks, ensuring a truly competitive and diverse pool of existing winners.