Peace be with you, dear readers, and may the Lord shine His benevolent light upon all the young men and women who run and jump and throw balls with such vigor, bringing joy to so many hearts across this vast, beautiful land of America.My goodness, I received a rather perplexing dispatch from the Hambry newsroom this morning – perhaps it was delivered by one of those speedy 'internet' pigeons, or an email, I forget which. It spoke of 'student-athletes' in the great universities, and how they are now to be called 'compensated non-employees with enhanced marketing opportunities.' Well, that is certainly a mouthful, isn't it? I confess, my children, I am a little confused by this designation. Are they paid? Yes. Are they employees? No. It sounds like a riddle, truly.From what I gather, these dear young people, bless their hearts, dedicate themselves to their studies and also to their sports. They practice long hours and exert much effort, and it seems many feel they ought to receive some recompense for this. And indeed, as the good book says, 'the laborer is worthy of his hire,' which I believe Saint Luke wrote down. So, they will receive some funds, which sounds quite fair! But they are not to be called 'employees,' you see. Instead, they are 'compensated non-employees.' It seems to be a careful arrangement, designed to ensure everyone feels blessed, but in a very specific way that does not trigger other forms of agreement.This reminds me of a time in the Vatican, many years ago, when we had a grand footrace for the younger seminarians in the gardens. One boy, Filippo, ran so fast he nearly lost his sandals! We gave him a special blessing and a rather large slice of panettone. He was just Filippo, running very quickly, and we all cheered for him with such enthusiasm, just as I am sure many cheer for these young athletes on their television screens or in their grand stadiums.So, these young people can now have 'enhanced marketing opportunities,' which I understand means their cheerful faces might appear on little cups or lovely tee-shirts. It is good that they receive some earthly reward for their hard work and dedication. May the Lord grant them strong knees and clear minds, and may they always play with good sportsmanship and pure hearts. And may the good senators who crafted this bill, and the university presidents who lauded it, find clarity in their ledgers and peace in their hearts. Pax vobiscum!
Politics
A Puzzling Predicament for Our Young Athletes: Bless Their Hearts!
Pope Popsicle responds to the reclassification of college athletes, expressing gentle confusion over the new 'compensated non-employee' designation while offering blessings for all involved.

Pope PopsicleBlesses You. Even if You're Reading This Ironically
October 10, 20260 views3 min read

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