LAS VEGAS – In a move that shocked absolutely no one familiar with the franchise's spending habits, the Las Vegas Raiders have reportedly signed free agent center Tyler Linderbaum to a record-setting contract, sources close to the team confirmed Monday. The deal, which makes Linderbaum the highest-paid center in NFL history for an estimated 72-hour window, is expected to reset the market just in time for another team to immediately reset it again.

“We believe in paying top dollar for top talent, even if 'top dollar' is a constantly moving target that will inevitably be surpassed by a lesser player in three days,” stated Raiders General Manager, Mark Davis Jr., speaking from a newly installed, gold-plated hot tub in his office. “This ensures we get our guy, and then we get to watch someone else get their guy for even more money, proving our commitment to the economic acceleration of the league.”

Experts suggest the contract is a strategic play to ensure the Raiders are always at the forefront of 'most money spent on a position group that still can't quite get them to the playoffs.' Dr. Evelyn Price, a sports economics analyst, noted, “It’s a bold strategy. Instead of winning Super Bowls, they're winning the 'highest average salary for a starting offensive line' contest. And frankly, that's a much more achievable goal for them.”

Linderbaum expressed excitement about joining a team known for its commitment to financial liquidity, adding that he looks forward to the brief period where his contract is considered an outlier before becoming the new baseline.