COURCHEVEL, FRANCE — Following Marco Odermatt's latest sweep of the downhill and overall World Cup crowns, officials from the International Ski Federation (FIS) have convened an emergency session to address what some are calling an 'unprecedented crisis of competence' among the rest of the competitive field.

Sources close to the FIS suggest that the organization is now seriously considering implementing a new 'Everyone Gets a Medal' policy, or at least a 'Most Improved Skier Who Wasn't Odermatt' award, to maintain athlete morale. “It’s becoming increasingly difficult to justify the travel budget for 99% of our roster,” admitted FIS spokesperson, Bjorn Svensson, wiping a tear from his eye. “They train, they compete, they… watch Marco win. It’s not exactly inspiring television.”

Odermatt’s repeated triumphs have reportedly led to a significant drop in engagement for the sport, with some broadcasters complaining that viewers are simply fast-forwarding to the medal ceremony, knowing the outcome. “We’ve tried everything,” said one disheartened coach, who wished to remain anonymous. “We’ve swapped his skis, hidden his poles, even tried to convince him that ‘winning isn’t everything.’ He just looks at us, smiles, and then wins by another second and a half.”

Plans are also underway to introduce a new 'Odermatt Handicap' system, where the Swiss phenom might be required to ski with one hand tied behind his back, or perhaps on a pair of rental skis from the 1980s. Failing that, the FIS may simply declare him the winner at the start of the season and send everyone else home to practice for next year, or perhaps a different sport.