CLEVELAND – In an unprecedented move aimed at minimizing the psychological impact of yesterday's 120-113 drubbing by the Boston Celtics, the Cleveland Cavaliers organization has formally petitioned the NBA to immediately restart the game clock from zero. The request, filed just hours after the final buzzer, suggests that conventional recovery protocols are 'suboptimal' for a team that prefers to 'simply pretend it didn't happen.'

“We believe that the best way to move past a performance of that caliber is to simply not acknowledge its existence for more than a few minutes,” stated Cavaliers Head of Emotional Resilience, Dr. Phil McCracken, in a hastily arranged press conference. “Our players are highly trained athletes, but their capacity for processing public humiliation is, shall we say, still in development. A quick reset, a mental palate cleanser, if you will, is far more effective than dwelling.”

The NBA has yet to respond to the unique request, which would effectively erase the memory of the Celtics' dominant performance from the Cavaliers' collective consciousness. Sources close to the league office indicated that while the proposal was 'innovative,' it might set a dangerous precedent for teams wishing to opt out of inconvenient losses.

Meanwhile, the Philadelphia 76ers, their next opponent, expressed mild confusion. “We were ready for a game tomorrow night,” said one anonymous 76ers staffer. “Are they asking to play *now*? We just finished lunch.”