NEW YORK, NY — Financial analysts tracking the meteoric rise of AI-related stocks have officially conceded that the market’s current valuation methods are indistinguishable from a sophisticated random number generator, albeit one with significantly higher transaction fees. The admission comes after Marvell Technology's shares jumped on 'strong AI growth,' a phrase that has become a universal incantation for stock price elevation.

“We’ve run the models, crunched the data, and frankly, the algorithms are just pointing at anything with ‘AI’ in the press release and yelling ‘BUY!’” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, head of Quantitative Absurdity at Wall Street's prestigious 'Guessing & Co.' firm. “At this point, we could announce a new AI-powered toaster oven and see its parent company’s valuation quadruple by lunch. The underlying tech is almost secondary to the narrative.”

The phenomenon has led to a new investment strategy dubbed 'Narrative Arbitrage,' where investors simply bet on which company can weave the most compelling, yet utterly vague, AI story. “It’s less about P/E ratios and more about P/S — 'Poetry per Share,'” quipped Thorne. “The more evocative the AI-driven future, the higher the stock goes.”

Regulators have reportedly begun investigating whether the market has developed sentience and is simply amusing itself by creating and destroying fortunes on a whim. The current bull run is expected to continue until the AI decides it's bored or discovers a more efficient way to generate wealth, possibly by directly controlling central banks.