Democrats Express Disappointment After GOP Fails To Nominate Clearly Unhinged Candidate
Party strategists reportedly scrambling to recalibrate after Republicans showed an unexpected, albeit temporary, lapse in judgment.
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Democrats Unveil Bold New Strategy: Disagreeing Publicly On Everything
Party leadership touts internal discord as 'a vibrant demonstration of democratic principles' ahead of crucial elections.
DHS Assures Nation: No ICE Agents Will Be Disguised as 'Enthusiastic Ballot Box Attendants' at Polling Places
Officials clarify that any federal presence will be limited to 'civic-minded' individuals in 'totally normal' attire, not tactical gear.
ICE Confirms Agents Will Not Be Patrolling Polling Places Dressed As Giant Voting Machines
Department of Homeland Security official clarifies agents will instead be 'subtly observing' from adjacent donut shops and suspiciously well-maintained shrubbery.
