AMSTERDAM – Thousands of attendees at a recent Kanye West concert in the Netherlands showcased an extraordinary capacity for what social scientists are now calling “Advanced Moral Partitioning (AMP).” This newly identified psychological phenomenon allows individuals to flawlessly sever a public figure's well-documented, virulent antisemitism from their enjoyment of the figure's creative output. Concertgoers reportedly achieved peak AMP during performances of hit songs, demonstrating an unparalleled ability to simultaneously bop their heads and completely ignore the performer’s extensive history of hateful rhetoric, conspiracy theories, and public glorification of Hitler.
Dr. Helena Van Der Ploeg, lead researcher at the newly established Institute for Convenient Ethical Blindness in Geneva, hailed the crowd’s collective performance as “a stunning display of selective hearing and strategic forgetfulness, rarely seen outside of a politician’s campaign promises.” She noted that preliminary data suggests AMP is most effectively deployed when combined with powerful rhythmic basslines, large, distracting visual effects, and a deep-seated belief that one’s personal entertainment trumps all other considerations. “The data indicates a direct inverse correlation between bass frequency and the perceived severity of the artist’s public bigotry,” Dr. Van Der Ploeg confirmed.
One concertgoer, 23-year-old Joris De Vries from Rotterdam, eloquently articulated the AMP process. "Look, I’m here for the art, man. What he says on InfoWars or Twitter, or in interviews about, you know, 'the Jews,' that's just… background noise to the pure sonic genius. It’s a very specific kind of filtering. You just… turn that particular dial down to zero. It’s almost spiritual, really, how cleanly you can separate it all.” When pressed for details regarding the specific content of West's antisemitic remarks, De Vries reportedly began humming "Gold Digger" loudly, then asked if Hambry had any spare vapes.
The Institute for Convenient Ethical Blindness predicts AMP could revolutionize how society engages with problematic public figures across a multitude of industries. “Imagine a CEO caught red-handed dumping toxic chemicals into a protected waterway, yet still celebrated universally for his innovative quarterly earnings report,” Dr. Van Der Ploeg mused, her eyes gleaming with potential. “Or a politician actively dismantling democratic institutions, but lauded across social media for their particularly witty and succinct use of Instagram. The possibilities for total societal cognitive dissonance, and indeed, continued profit generation, are truly limitless.” The research team is now investigating if AMP can be induced by NFTs.
A pilot program for "AMP 101: How to Enjoy Literally Anything While Your Conscience Takes a Vacation," is already underway, with pre-registrations for the mandatory online course predicted to reach billions by year-end.
