NFL Free Agency Now Officially Just A Massive, Over-Complicated Futures Market
League confirms player contracts will now be traded on a real-time exchange, complete with algorithmic bots and dark pools.
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#roger goodell
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NFL Teams Begin Drafting Contracts For Players Who Haven't Even Considered Free Agency Yet
League officials confirm a new initiative to preemptively offer multi-million dollar deals to athletes based purely on speculative potential and the current market's irrational exuberance.
NFL Combine Now Officially Just A High-Stakes Corporate Retreat With Some Running
League officials confirm the annual event has evolved into a premier networking opportunity for executives and a showcase for advanced snack technology.
