Trump Announces New 'Subscription-Based War' Model For Middle East
White House unveils 'WarPass' offering tiered access to geopolitical conflict and domestic political distraction.
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#political humor
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ayatollah khamenei reportedly 'shocked' by sudden career change
iranian supreme leader said to be unprepared for transition to 'eternal rest' after 35 years of uninterrupted employment.
Idaho Governor Announces Bid For Third Consecutive Term, Citing 'Unfinished Business' of Not Yet Paving Entire State with Potatoes
Brad Little's campaign promises to finally achieve 100% spud-based infrastructure, ensuring every road, building, and citizen is adequately mashed.
State of the Union Guest List Expands to Include 'Symbolic Grievance' Section, Reportedly Features Man Who Lost Sock in Dryer
Lawmakers aim for 'peak emotional resonance' by inviting individuals representing increasingly niche societal woes.
Nation's Democrats Diagnosed With 'Chronic Trump-Induced Reality Aversion Disorder' Following SOTU Counter-Programming
Experts confirm widespread cognitive dissonance as party opts for 'alternative' viewing experiences, including competitive lint-picking.
CBS Officially Rebrands as 'Trump Broadcasting System' Following Strategic Content Realignment
Network Executives Confirm Decision Driven by 'Unwavering Commitment to Viewer Comfort' and 'Optimal Shareholder Serenity.'
