NEW YORK, NY — In a move described by analysts as “shockingly intuitive,” the Women’s National Basketball Association has reportedly proposed a new Collective Bargaining Agreement that includes the radical concept of paying its most marketable athletes a competitive wage. Sources close to the negotiations indicate the league’s offer fast-tracks maximum salary eligibility for high-profile young players, a strategy previously dismissed as “financially irresponsible” and “just plain silly.”

“We ran the numbers, and it turns out, when you pay people what they’re worth, they tend to stick around and, get this, play really well,” stated Dr. Evelyn Thorne, head of the WNBA’s newly formed Department of Obvious Conclusions. “It’s a paradigm shift, really. For years, we operated under the assumption that passion alone would fill arenas and generate billion-dollar media deals. Apparently, a robust salary helps too.”

The proposed CBA, which was sent to the players’ union Sunday, is said to specifically address the earning potential of breakout stars like Caitlin Clark and Paige Bueckers, allowing them to reach top-tier salaries sooner than under previous, more frugal guidelines. Insiders suggest the league is now exploring other radical ideas, such as consistent flight schedules and hotels with more than one ice machine.

“It’s a bold new era,” commented league spokesperson Mark ‘Moneyball’ Johnson, adjusting his tie. “We’re not just selling basketball anymore; we’re selling the idea that professional athletes should be compensated like professionals. We expect this innovative approach to revolutionize the entire concept of professional sports.”