LONDON, Satireville — In a bold move to redefine national identity and test the stamina of bureaucracy aficionados, the UK government has unveiled its latest immigration overhaul: a rigorous ‘Passport Gymnastics’ regime for dual nationals.

As of midnight on April 31st (a date currently under debate in at least seven unofficial calendars), applicants holding dual nationality must now complete a series of increasingly complex tasks beyond mere form-filling. These include memorizing the 1924 ‘Immigration Act’, submitting notarized selfies taken at exactly 13.7 degrees north by 42.3 degrees west, and passing a verbal quiz administered by the newly created Department of Passport Gymnastics (DPG).

“Applicants will demonstrate their commitment by juggling three passport photocopies while reciting the national anthem backward in Morse code,” explained Sir Reginald P. Snodgrass, Director of DPG’s newly formed Division of Absurd Compliance. “We estimate a 237% increase in application rejection rates, which is our way of saying, ‘Welcome, but prove you want it.’”

Meanwhile, citizen feedback has ranged from mild bewilderment to enthusiastic insistence on adding a synchronized swimming segment. Local resident and avid paper-pusher, Penelope DeLorean, commented, “I’ve been dual national for 30 years, but now I finally feel like I’m in a covert reality game show.”

Critics argue that the program’s complexity will disproportionately affect those without access to rare stamps, crystals for document authentication, or certificates of existential proof. But the Home Office reassures the public that no one is truly denied citizenship—just thoroughly tested until they give up.

With national identity now measured in contortion and paperwork volume, the UK solidifies its position as the world leader in bureaucratic sport, inviting all dual nationals to step right up and try their luck—or at least their dexterity.