MAR-A-LAGO, FL – The Trump Organization has officially trademarked the name 'Donald J. Trump International Airport,' citing an urgent need to protect the brand from a burgeoning global population of aspiring Donald J. Trumps who might seek to establish their own, less-than-luxurious air travel hubs.

“It’s a matter of proactive brand stewardship,” stated Ms. Tiffany Goldblatt, Chief Identity Protection Officer for Trump IP Holdings, from a lavishly appointed office overlooking a gold-plated golf course. “With the increasing likelihood of a Florida airport being named after our esteemed founder, we simply cannot risk a rogue 'Donald J. Trump' opening a regional airstrip in, say, North Dakota, offering discount flights and subpar duty-free options. The confusion would be catastrophic for the brand’s perceived value.”

Experts lauded the foresight. “This isn't just about airports; it's about the very fabric of identity in a post-truth world,” explained Dr. Reginald Piffle, Head of Existential Brand Integrity at the Institute for Advanced Nomenclature Studies. “Imagine a scenario where a 'Donald J. Trump' from, perhaps, Saskatchewan, opens a petting zoo. The public could mistakenly attribute the quality of said petting zoo to the former President. This trademark prevents such an ontological crisis.”

The organization confirmed that any future airports, bus stations, or even particularly impressive outhouses bearing the name 'Donald J. Trump' would require a licensing agreement, payable in advance, and subject to rigorous aesthetic review.