LONDON – A national regulatory panel has permanently banned former educator Brenda Piffle from teaching, not for fabricating a Cambridge degree, but for the 'egregious lack of imagination' and 'substandard commitment to the art of deception' displayed in her forgery. The ruling, handed down by the National Oversight Committee for Educational Veracity (NOCEV), stated Piffle's conduct fell 'significantly short of the standards expected for professional academic fabrication.'

'While honesty is paramount, if one must engage in such endeavors, one must do so with a certain panache,' explained Dr. Phineas Quibble, NOCEV's Chief Arbiter of Scholastic Authenticity, in a press conference held outside a redacted university. 'Ms. Piffle's forged certificate, a mere photocopy with a crudely drawn crest, frankly insulted the intelligence of the committee. We expect at least a custom watermark, perhaps a Latin motto she invented herself, or even a fictional minor college within the university system.'

The committee's 47-page report detailed how Piffle's 'lackluster' degree claim, which included a 'suspiciously generic' graduation date of 'Summer 2007,' failed to meet the 'minimum threshold for believable academic fraud.'

'This isn't about lying; it's about the quality of the lie,' added Professor Esmeralda Flimflam, Head of the Department of Post-Truth Pedagogy at the Institute for Advanced Mendacity. 'Her efforts were a disservice to the noble tradition of academic embellishment. We've seen better work from a particularly ambitious toddler with a crayon and a conviction that they've 'graduated from naptime.''